War in Family Constellations According To Helinger

In family constellations, there is an incredibly strong connection between perpetrators and victims, especially in the context of the world wars. Crimes or actions from that time are often kept secret to this day. Perpetrators often remain silent primarily to protect themselves and their families from social ostracism. Victims remain silent because of the shame of what happened to them.

ស្រានក

Returning soldiers feel a special connection to their fallen comrades - as well as to the enemies they have killed. This strong attraction to the deceased often prevents the healthy development of the father-son relationship. The child often feels "lost" by his father. He experiences his father as emotionally frozen and is deeply troubled by these strong traumatic feelings. As a result, such children themselves experience a constant insecurity about their existence and identity, which sometimes manifests itself in uncontrollable fears.

The descendants of surviving soldiers sometimes appeal to their fathers' or grandfathers' dead comrades, as well as their enemies, to join them. These movements are particularly often manifested in their remarkable inclination towards and longing for death.

When a family benefits from war, it also has systemic consequences: everyone at whose expense the family and the system have gained this advantage also becomes part of the system. If, for example, a family is given a house during the National Socialist era that originally belonged to Jews, they are also part of the system, because that family benefited from the misfortune of a Jewish family. If they do not look at these older members of the system and do not acknowledge them, then the children of the next generation of this privileged family often replace them later and identify very strongly with these roles in the form of symptoms or emotions and behaviors.

As strange and surprising as it may seem given our preconditions, the solution is often to lay the criminals, most of whom are already dead, to rest either with their dead comrades or with their enemies.

Acknowledging and bringing to light what happened, bringing perpetrators and victims face to face in this way, often breaks and ignites this preserved emotional rigidity and brings it all back to life. If this no longer suits the generation of grandfathers and fathers, then it is felt and passed on to the generation of grandchildren. During the deployment, there is often a brotherhood between people who felt either in the service of those great forces or as their victims, which can be mistaken for our frontal imagination or judgment.

According to Bert Hellinger, we - that is, later generations - have no right to judge the Nazi era. Both the perpetrator and the victim all acted under the influence and guidance of a higher power. To understand this, we must try to move to a level of conscience where there is no difference between the perpetrator and the victim, where everything is equal. Ultimately, everyone is in the hands of one great power. This was inevitable for the Germans, as well as for the Jews, Russians and others. No one could stop or restrain it. Here everyone was under the influence of a power greater than the perpetrator and the victim taken separately.

Until man looks at this greatest power, acknowledges its greatness, bows before it, and submits to it, there is no way out.

I am a very happy person.

From the perspective of intergenerational psychotraumatology, war causes a number of existential and loss traumas - for example, the fear of a bomb attack, the fear of rape, or the fear of losing one's homeland.

Parents traumatized by these serious incidents are often unable to transmit a sense of security and establish an emotional connection with their children. This then also leads to severe attachment trauma in subsequent generations.